You Are Stronger Than The Envy Of Others
Envy is a feeling (or passion if it is very intense) of an unpleasant character that arises when one thinks about what another person has or has achieved.
The term envy derives from the Latin “envy”, which means “to see with an evil eye”. The envious person looks at the qualities, successes or good of others with evil eyes. They are for him a source of unpleasant feelings and deep dissatisfaction.
Envy is intimate, it is not confessed. Few times have you heard someone say that they are envious of you in a serious tone. It is shameful to admit that the good of others can inspire a deep inner malaise, sometimes full of hostility, towards that person.
Other times we try to justify that feeling of envy by value judgments. Judgments that, although they may have a well-founded basis, are blurred by our affective state which is not too objective. Often, envy gives rise to slander or defamation mechanisms.
It is difficult to meet a person who has never felt envy in his life. Even if hardly anyone recognizes that they are envious, it is enough to observe someone who has great success in a short time, to realize the envy that masks the criticism.
Is there healthy envy or is it a desire to overcome?
There are situations which have points of connection with envy, but which belong to distinct orders. Sometimes we say we envy someone because we admire their qualities or because they know how to bring out their potential. We would like to be like him. It is not a question of envy, but of a desire to overcome that becomes concrete in a person and that we take as an example.
At other times, feelings of indignation may arise because of the triumph of a person who we believe does not deserve it. Furthermore, we may also believe that she is not sufficiently prepared to perform the function that has been assigned to her. This thought is not always due to disguised envy, but to objective reasons. This happens especially when it is not a person close to us and if his success concerns a different area from ours.
On other occasions it is, rather than envy, the fear of someone’s growth: we think that once they hold a position higher than ours, they can harm us in some way. At other times, more than envy, it is jealousy. We suffer when others get the affection or admiration that we would like to receive from some people in an exclusive way.
Finally, we must not confuse envy with the sorrow we can feel when we learn about the luck of a person towards whom we feel hatred or a desire for revenge. His luck does not cause us envy, but frustration.
Pride and selfishness are closely related to envy
Pride and selfishness are two characteristics of the personality intimately linked with envy. Out of pride, a person is unwilling to accept that others are valued more than himself. She considers them equal or inferior and is unwilling to accept that they become more successful. Envy is often full of comparisons with other people as a source of self-evaluation and self-affirmation of one’s ego.
Selfishness presupposes an exaggerated desire to possess everything for oneself. An attitude in which one focuses on oneself, ignoring the interests of others. In this way, the feelings and concerns of others are marginalized, as if they did not exist or did not matter. What is obtained by others is experienced as if it were something personal stolen by third parties. The others have obtained something which, in justice, belonged to us and which they do not deserve.
Pride and selfishness are motivated by the desire for self-affirmation and by defense mechanisms of one’s self-evaluation with respect to others. They are imbued with the judgment of values regarding others, which lacks objectivity, as it is deformed by affective qualities. This is the perfect scenario in which envy makes an act of presence.
7 signs that someone envies you
A sincere friend is the one who helps you grow and improve as a person. However, you may have wondered at least once if your friends are jealous of you or if they have admiration for you. To make this clear, here are 7 signs that someone is jealous of you:
- It doesn’t care what happens to you; moreover, it turns away when you are successful or triumphant.
- Sometimes it doesn’t keep your secrets.
- He talks badly about other people, and probably does the same about you.
- It hides the truth from you and deceives you.
- Speak badly of your loved ones.
- It is with you only in moments of success, but it abandons you when you need it.
- Doesn’t respect your opinion.
7 tips for dealing with an envious person
The first step is to learn to recognize an envious person. Sometimes it’s easy, while other times it’s extremely complicated. For this reason, we have already given you a number of tips.
Later, once you recognize the person, you could approach them in the following way:
– Focus on the negative comments he makes. If it reaches 3, end the conversation.
– Surround yourself with people who support you. The envious person, in this way, will have less chance of making you feel bad as they are exposed to a whole group.
– Have a friendly relationship with some of his friends. This will make the envious person feel like a stranger.
-Let her know that her negativity bothers you. This may cause her to change the way she treats you, even if things don’t always go that way.
– Praise the envious person. In this way, you will disarm it.
– Share with her your difficulties and the negative aspects of your character. In this way, he will understand that you are not perfect and will envy you a little less.
-Help her improve. Often, envious people have low self-esteem.
If none of these tricks work, perhaps it is best that you distance yourself from this person. Nothing happens if you lose a false friend or if you stop keeping in touch with a person who was a friend before, but whose envy hurts us. We have the right to choose who to stay with and who to share our time with.
