When Lying Becomes A Habit

There are some people who get used to lying. We can say with certainty that everyone knows at least one person of this type.

Liars usually do not admit that they have this habit because it is not well regarded by society; however, in reality, they have perfected it by practicing a lot. Furthermore, they understand within themselves that the lie can be a resource, as valid as the others, and that if it is not discovered it does no harm to anyone.

They may no longer be able to deceive us, because we have known them for a long time, but they still have the ability to deceive people they have just met or who see little. They know that the less detail, the better; they know how to hide their faces so as not to be discovered and they know that one of their best allies is ambiguity.

On the other hand, it almost seems that those who get used to mixing reality with fantasy end up blurring the limits that divide them even in their own heads. He gets used to treating both of them equally, as there is room for both of them in his life.

From pitiful lies to compulsive lies

As children they tell us that if we lie, “our noses grow like Pinocchio” and that it is a sin not to tell the truth. It is not strange, once we grow up, to adopt the theory that a little lie “does no harm to anyone” and, little by little, we slightly change our definition of truth.

During this process, there are people who go beyond the limits that we can consider “normal” and who become liars out of control. It is then that many questions arise: do they do it on purpose? Do they realize what they are saying? Do they understand that they hurt others? Unfortunately in most cases this is not the case. And the worst part is that if we try to help them, they reject us and tell an even bigger lie.

Pathological lies, from the big screen to real life

There aren’t many scientific studies that explain why someone has mythomania *. We have often seen her portrayed on the big screen, such as in Taxi Driver , where Robert De Niro plays a young taxi driver who writes a letter to his parents saying that, in fact, he works for a secret government project and is engaged to a girl. .

A story that is not fictional, but is true, is that of Tania Head (whose real name is Alicia Esteve), a young girl born in Barcelona who said she was on the seventy-eighth floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center on 11 September. 2001, just at the moment of the explosion.

He showed the alleged injuries sustained during the attack and even narrated the facts with all the details. In 2007, the American newspaper The New York Times  revealed that it was a deception and, a short time later, the Spanish television channel Cadena Cuatro produced a documentary called 11-S, I made it all up . It is still not clear why the girl decided to lie: some say it was due to the desire to become famous, others think that the reason is her inability to distinguish between reality and lies.

How to tell if someone is lying pathologically

In addition to the cases reported on the big screen or discovered by the media, it is actually possible to find yourself in front of a mythomaniac without realizing it. How is it possible to tell if someone is lying to us “blatantly”? Maybe it’s a bit difficult at first and you need some strange information or information that doesn’t square with the rest of the story to stop believing his words.

However, it is good to know that a pathological liar has no control over what he says or the effect his lies have on others. The lies are generalized, disproportionate, persistent and most are spontaneous and poorly thought out.

For example, it is possible to identify someone suffering from this disorder if they change their stories all the time, if they contradict what they have said in the past or if they exaggerate their stories a lot (as in the case of the taxi driver, who poses as a CIA agent. ). Furthermore, it is possible that he has an even more incredible version of past events, that he lives in a parallel reality and that he is unable to respond to contradictions by using memory errors as an excuse.

Why do you always have to stay away from a pathological lie? In practice, because it is based on the lack of control on the part of those who say it. A mythomaniac * may have brain and central nervous system problems or abnormalities. This is certainly not an “excuse” that allows him to continue lying, but it is still a fact to take into account when we find ourselves listening to an invented or false story.

Especially beware of liars who do not care about others, because they view people just as they consider a lie: a simple means to achieve their purpose. These people are more dangerous than mythomaniacs *. Why? They are perfectly aware of what they are doing! Their lies help them get rich, climb the social pyramid and step on others.

Lies are not good for you under any circumstances. Those suffering from mythomania are not “forgiven” for their ailment, but they deserve our help : try to convince these people to consult a specialist and motivate them to follow the appropriate treatment.

* Mythomania: tendency to lie and to accept as reality, in a more or less voluntary and conscious way, the products of one’s imagination.