The Strongest Material That Exists Is The Resilient Core

The strongest material that exists is neither graphene nor diamond, it is the resilient soul, a heart that has stitched the most serious wounds inflicted by adversity with a golden thread. This concept is nothing but the ingredient of happiness, it is an attitude towards life, it is the hope that invites us to move forward.

To say that we are living in a resilient period is evident, the circumstances invite us to do so, even if we know well that it is not something that can always be achieved with the same effectiveness. Not everyone copes with a situation of stress or personal difficulty in the same way. Each of us drags behind our anchors, oceans of injustice, degrading seas and we don’t always know how to get rid of them.

Our culture is characterized by certain aspects. We live in a world accustomed to putting labels on: you are intelligent, you are ugly, you are obsessed, you are a failure, that is weak and that other is strong.

The obsession with extremes and labels often leads us to a state of absolute desperation where we stop believing in our potential, isolating ourselves in our private corner, in our suffering, in tears and despair. Sometimes it is not enough to say that everyone can be resilient, because resilience, and this is important, hardly leads to loneliness.

Why are some people more resilient than others?

The secret that makes some more resilient than others lies in the brain’s ability to withstand or resist stressful situations. There is, therefore, a biological factor that neuroscience has set out to study. In fact, studies like the one published in the journal Nature allow us to better understand this fascinating, but at the same time complicated, process that shapes the resilient brain.

The following are the main mechanisms that determine a lower or higher resilience:

• Education. Having received continuous affection and an education based on healthy attachment promotes the best development of the child’s central nervous system. However, growing up in a traumatic or affectionless environment generates physiological and biochemical reactions that reduce resistance to stressful situations.

• The genetic factor is also decisive. Fear or the ability to overcome adversity leaves an emotional trace, an imprint in the genetic material that can be passed on to subsequent generations.

• The neurotransmitters. Another aspect that has been observed is that in people who have difficulty managing stress or coping with trauma, there is relatively low activity of neurotransmitters, as well as of endorphins or oxytocin. Poor interaction with the limbic system or the prefrontal cortex places these people in a state of continuous vulnerability, of emotional chaos, with a greater tendency to anxiety and depression.

As you can see, these three factors can make us more vulnerable, affect our image of ourselves as weak people and of the world as a threat. However, we should avoid embracing this thought. Our potential is there, like the ship waiting to rise from the abyss, like the bird that walks on two legs because it has forgotten that it has wings to fly.

The resilient soul knows that it is useless to struggle with the world

Many of us go through life angry with the world. We resent our parents for their absences or the gaps they have left. We hate those who dared to harm us, those who abandoned us, those who said “I don’t love you anymore” or those who told us “I love you”, but it was a lie. We hate this complex, competitive reality and sometimes, in the most extreme cases, we hate life itself.

We direct our gaze and our energy outward like someone who continually hits a punching bag until we are tired, exhausted, without strength. Believe it or not, resilience is not a golden armor with which to be braver and make all external demons disappear. Because it is useless to wear impregnable armor if we do not pay attention first to the wounded man he hides inside.

The strongest armor is our heart, our mind clothed with resilience, self-approval, self-esteem, renewed hope. In fact, even if it costs us to admit it, there are battles that are best taken for lost, because leaving the past in the drawer of memories is the only way to live the present, it means preventing enthusiasm from escaping from our wounds.

Little by little, day after day, new projects, new people and new winds will grow on that enthusiasm, those that bring smiles, that uproot the weeds of the past.
Eventually, the time will come when we will succeed, we will be able to look at the past without fear and without anger. Calm will come because in the end we have allowed ourselves what we so deserve: to be happy.