Jealousy Towards The Partner’s Past
That insatiable jealousy for your partner’s past … do you know anything about it? Have you been victims of it? (both on one side and on the other side of the relationship). Perhaps you have fallen into that endless labyrinth of retrospective jealousy. That jealousy that many people suffer from not only for the present of their partner, but also for the past.
As if the insecurity of the present weren’t enough, your partner’s past appears like a hurricane that sweeps away peace of mind, peace of mind and inner security. And it is not something that appears suddenly, but that is often sought. We look morbidly in every detail of the stories and relationships that that person experienced when he was not with us.
Details are always insufficient for our hungry and ravenous monster of jealousy. Is never enough. It is not enough for us to know the relationships of our current partner. We need to know every detail of those relationships.
Jealousy of the past and the hungry monster who is never sated
Obviously one of the obsessions is knowing what that person was physically like. What was her way of doing, how she treated him, how she made him feel… Many people will ask themselves: why? Is it some kind of masochism? The logic of a purely rational mind would come to the following conclusion: why think about the past if it has chosen you?
“The past is past. There is nothing to worry about. What if he wants to go back to the past? What do you do! Then you will already know what to do “. Perhaps these words were spoken to you by a friend or friend. A rational person who tries to put filters and limits on a lot of mental and emotional disorder.
But what is behind this authentic obsession with your partner’s emotional past? Or better yet, what would we like to achieve by accumulating this information? Data, data and more data. The more data we have, the more we will feed our monster.
Insecurity is at the root of all this jealousy
Somehow, the need arises to want to be the only one in your partner’s life. However, what is behind this desire? There is a basic insecurity (capitalized, underlined and in bold). His own esteem is torn. We need to look outside of ourselves for the security that does not characterize us. Something that completely destabilizes us.
We are desperately looking for data to confirm that we are the only ones. The best in the world. For some strange reason, that person lived a life away from us (his true love) before he met us.
Addiction is a brutal consequence of insecurity. If my concrete falls apart, I will desperately look for something that solidifies it outside of my person. I will look for a person who acts as my mirror. That reflects everything that I am not able to see on my own. And I’ll hold onto that mirror until I suffer from mental and emotional toxicity.
We depend when we have not learned to take care of ourselves
All means are justifiable to achieve our goal. Because it is our PURPOSE! It is not just any end, much less irrelevant. It means keeping alive at any cost. Do not disappear. The voracious insecurity we feel leads us to nonexistence. And if it is necessary to hold on to a person strongly, we will do it; otherwise we will disappear. Alone we are nobody.
Jealousy about one’s partner’s past is a very common problem and we should learn to look beyond it. Everything makes sense. It is that sense that we must seek and treasure it. To finally be able to transform it in such a way as to help, build, take care of yourself and love yourself for who you are. Because comparing oneself to others is an exercise that bears no fruit and embitters.
Comparison is useless, because each of us is different. Each person is unique and unrepeatable. Value and love these differences, but start looking at everything clearly from the root. Don’t be blinded by arguments that rack your mind. Take care of yourself. The battle to defeat jealousy is not easy, because it means fighting against a tyrant who has taken root in our being.
However, you can get started today!
