How To Recognize An Abusive Relationship
Experts explain that to understand if your relationship is not healthy, it is good to analyze your feelings, with or without your partner. You need to be as objective as possible because otherwise you are deceiving yourself and your partner as well.
If in recent times you have felt criticized, tense, sad, distressed, fearful, rejected, ignored, useless, unimportant, if you have lost control of your life, if you feel guilty of what is happening, obliged to appear happy and to act happy your partner, if you have left aside the things you like and your interests to please the other or avoid a fight, it is because your relationship is not going well.
It is normal for one of these things to happen to you at some point in your relationship, but the problem is complicated when it comes to the rule and not the exception. If you find yourself in this situation two or three times a week or for several months now, it is necessary to begin to deeply analyze your relationship and what it produces in you. Acting as soon as possible can lead to good results. If you wait with your arms folded, hoping that help will come from heaven, it could all end very badly.
We do not want to terrify you or make everything a tragedy, but it is good to stop denying the problems, to avoid the pain that can result from a possible separation. Many people make the mistake of getting used to a sick relationship, of holding on to a memory or positive attitude from their partner. In this way, the situation will never be resolved, indeed it will get worse.
If your partner often ridicules you with your family or friends, if they criticize you or make fun of you whatever you do, if they insult you or say offensive words, if they manipulate you with threats, with lies, with silence or half sentences, if he never recognizes your strengths, if he uses body or facial expressions to scare you, if he opposes the fact that you want to see the people you care about, if he prevents you from doing what you like, if he expresses his affection only after doing something negative, you are faced with a situation of abuse and it is vital that you put a stop, if you do not want to have problems in the future.
There is evidence that abuse increases when one does not react. This does not mean that your partner is a bad person, a killer or a monster, just that they often don’t realize what they are saying or the pain they cause you. Even if he will make numerous promises that he will change and that everything will return to normal, “because I was nervous”, “why don’t you listen to me”, “because I drank too much”, keep in mind that you could become responsible for a worsening of the situation. With this we do not want to diminish the faults of the abuser, but to prevent the situation from reaching a drastic point.
Ending a sick relationship in time is one of the hardest things to do, because the bond with the other person is very close. The abuser and the violent can also come to enjoy their behavior, which is why it is very difficult for them to change their behavior. He will always justify himself, since he will be convinced that what he is doing is correct and that the other person is looking for it.
Emotional abuse: a scourge of society
There are more cases of domestic violence than you imagine or are transmitted through the media. And it’s not always about physical abuse, like beating. Emotional abuse is much more dangerous because it penetrates deeper than a slap or punch. It often happens that you know people who are going through a situation of this kind and that you do not know it, because it is not easily recognizable in appearance as a purple eye. Emotional abuse harms people enormously, and in many cases the injuries it causes are permanent. For this reason, this type of abuse is more dangerous than physical abuse.
Quarrels and arguments are not always synonymous with violence. There are no couples who never argue and, if this happens, worry, because it is impossible to agree on everything 100%. Emotional violence is more than an argument about expenses, money, or children. It is something deeper, which affects people deep in their hearts and stays there.
The person who suffers emotional violence will change his attitude, lifestyle, habits, all to please his partner. In reality you have someone in front of you who frightens, cancels, insults, humiliates. Identifying emotional abuse is difficult, but there are some clear signs. For example: low self-esteem, depression, constant distress for no apparent reason, isolation from loved ones, feelings of shame, self-contempt, fear, insecurity, feelings of guilt, passive or extreme complacency, denial of problems, inability to make helping, lying, etc.
Remember that recognizing abuse is the first step in stopping it. Do not let time pass, seek help, do not accept the sins of the other, do not make yourself responsible for mistakes you have not committed, do not allow yourselves to be manipulated and do not fall into “emotional blackmail”.
