Feeling Bad Is Good Because It Helps To Grow
We often feel guilty about the anguish we feel. We don’t realize, however, that in some cases, in fact most of the time, being sick is okay.
Have you ever wondered what certain expressions hide, such as: «you are ugly when you cry», «a man never cries», «cheer up!»… These phrases, apparently harmless, are as direct as they are harmful. They are censors like macabre instruments of torture.
Somehow, they indicate that there is something wrong with how we feel … that we shouldn’t feel that way. That we shouldn’t feel sad over loss or anger over betrayal. Shouldn’t we really have these feelings? Is being sick so wrong?
Why is feeling bad okay?
We all go through good times and bad times. It is part of human nature; the alternation is consistent with the dynamism of the circumstances we live in. In principle, there is nothing deleterious about the oscillation between moods, contrary to what certain cultures may indicate.
It is therefore normal on several occasions to get very sick, not only because of a loss or betrayal, but also because of the helplessness that one feels in not being able to overcome this state of mind. It is in these moments that we direct all anger towards ourselves, making the wound deeper, more painful. Feeling bad is okay when:
- We want to express what we feel.
- You want to communicate your feelings.
- When something unpleasant happens.
- When something happens to a loved one.
- In moments when we feel unmotivated.
These are just a few examples. In fact, the most important thing is to accept and listen to negative emotions when you value them. Get the message and don’t just see them as the cause of bad news.
Feeling bad, beyond suffering
When we change our perspective and recognize that sickness is an opportunity for learning, the intensity of the suffering diminishes. This does not mean that we automatically stop feeling pain, but we turn away from suffering. Recall that suffering can be, or is largely optional.
We can therefore take advantage of it to make resilience one of our greatest virtues. How? Overcoming the malaise, giving meaning to our life and learning from every experience.
How to manage the malaise?
There are several ways to do this. We could start with a journey into the deepest part of our essence. Self-knowledge is a powerful tool that allows us to find out who we are and where we want to go.
Another way is to define what we feel emotionally and, once done, set goals to be more assertive in choosing coping strategies. For example, if we get easily irritated by mistakes, we can start working on them. We can express our anger in a more controlled way, but also keep it from peaks too high.
We may also ask for help, i.e. consult a professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. We may all need support; moreover, these professionals can not only help us in moments of discomfort, but also help us to enhance the best in us.
On the other hand, we can engage in activities that improve our mood. For example, sports, painting, dance, social activities, etc.
The important thing is to find meaning in the path we trace along our existence, so as to begin to distance ourselves from suffering. This is what Viktor Frankl tells us in his book Man in search of meaning , a wonderful, but also shocking, story of his life experience.
In summary, being sick is okay when we experience that state from the point of view of emotional acceptance. When we leave room for emotions so that they can breathe and communicate their message. Maybe someone hurt us, we lost something or someone important. After that, these emotions will have nothing more to tell us, they will leave their energy for us to use to reflect or act and they will go away.
