Regain Control Over Children

Social changes have given rise to new difficulties for parents. There is a general feeling of having to regain control over children, but it is uncertain about the educational model to adopt.

Regaining control over their children helps parents regain their role. The Argentine writer and pedagogue Jaime Barylko explains it very well.

According to Barylko, there is a new category of parents who are confused and bewildered about their role towards their children. These are parents who are afraid of invading the intimacy of their children, of fathers and mothers looking for an updated educational model. But how can we regain control over children in this ever-changing society?

The educational model according to which a parent completely directs the child’s life is now out of fashion. Parents today tend to play a more flexible role, more open to listening and understanding. The new paradigms of education undoubtedly have numerous positive aspects, but it is also true that they can create some difficulties that are difficult to overcome.

Then there are the cases of parents who have decided to hand over their role to other institutions. This is because current schedules are incompatible with family life. It is difficult to maintain control over the children, but they still need a point of reference to know how to behave.

In today’s article we will see how to regain control and authority over children. It is not an easy goal to achieve, especially if we do not want to turn us into tyrants. We will deepen the fundamental aspects of some constructive educational models.

Three educational models to regain control over children

Authority based on example

Control over children is an essential aspect of education and growth. It is essential, however, that example and authority go hand in hand. It is useless to try to inculcate the values ​​and foundations of education if we do not act consistently. Remember that children tend to copy our behaviors: example is essential for them.

Saying one thing and then doing another is not a good example for children. Children copy our attitudes because they are an important point of reference for them.

Authority based on prestige and the idea of ​​service

The exercise of educational authority requires a basis of prestige based on the correct form of action. As parents, the education of their children must be oriented towards their well-being. Consequently, to regain control over children, it is essential to feel at the service of their education.

Authority based on the use of language

To exercise authority using language, the adult must be fully aware of what he is saying to his children. In addition to choosing the correct words, he should also try to always check his tone of voice.

Effective methods for communicating and regaining control over children

The method chosen to communicate with children is one of the fundamental pillars of children’s education and development. Remember, however, that words must always be accompanied by actions.

Here are some examples of good communication with children. For every situation there is an effective and an ineffective way. The main difference is in the exercise of authority: with affection or with imposition?

• “Bring it to me!” it is better to say: “Would you bring it to me? Mom and dad will be very happy ”.
• “You’re making me angry.” it is better to say: “Why are you doing this? You know it’s not good ”.
• “If you don’t put everything in order immediately, I get angry!” it is better to say: “The first one who fixes everything wins a prize! Are you ready? Street!”.
• “Go to sleep now!” it is better to say: “Let’s go to bed and tell me what you dreamed yesterday. Maybe today you can continue the dream. I’ll help you by telling you a story “.
• “Do not disturb me.” it is better to say: “Let me rest for a moment. So later we can play together ”.

• “Look at those dirty pants! What a mess!” it is better to say: “Too bad you got your pants dirty. So we can’t get out. Be more careful next time. If you don’t get dirty, we can go to your friends’ house ”.

The idea is that children not only obey, but do an exercise in understanding. Only in this way will the control over their behavior be truly effective and lasting. Furthermore, it will be possible to establish a link between proper behavior and the child’s well-being, both with himself and with others.