The Importance Of Good Communication

We usually listen or read about how important it is to maintain good communication in the workplace, family, social or couple. However,  are we aware of everything that the communication process entails?

We do not always find the right words, the way to make ourselves understood or to convey what we want to communicate, even to transform into words what we think or feel. Often it seems like a real challenge and sometimes it is as if it were not us, but our interlocutor, who put a barrier so that our message does not reach.

We are not aware of all the gears that take part in the communication process. We forget the importance of communicating with others in a clear and simple way, without thinking about the impact that our words and gestures can have.

Suppose, take for granted, make personal assumptions about events or people, supervise, defame, add or omit details of the information we have received, etc. However, how is our communication?

We create reality starting from language

We are like sculptors who, based on their own characteristics, experiences and peculiarities, create or destroy the information they formulate or receive. It must be considered that human beings create reality through their own language.

When a person tries to convey an image, a feeling, a concept or an idea, the interlocutor probably does not receive the same. Have you ever thought about it? The cause of most misunderstandings is people’s mutual belief that they are talking about the same subject when their view of respect is completely different.

Couples who talk about love, but have different points of view about it. People who share a friendship, however, having different characteristics. Have you ever thought that, perhaps, when you converse or discuss with a person, you can have different views or interpretations on the topic in question?

In conversations with others, the words may be the same, but the content quite distinct. The surface and the depth can accommodate a relationship different from what you imagined. We need to think about what we say and how we say to get a precise map of our communication with others.

Asking instead of assuming

When we have a conversation with another person, it  is essential to ask the other what the topic you are talking about means to him / her. 

What is love for you? What is a relationship for you? What does it mean to you to be loyal or boring? What is happiness or sadness for you? And, in the same way, we must explain our point of view. Otherwise, we will assume that the other person shares our point of view and thinks like us. It would be a great coincidence, right?

We would save ourselves many conflicts and misunderstandings if, instead of assuming, we asked our interlocutor what he was referring to with his idea or reasoning.

Everyone has an education, certain experiences, training, certain personal characteristics behind them that prevent them from always sharing the same opinions or similar feelings. They are the personal glasses with which we feel, interpret, think and act in the world. Each of us wears a different model.

We communicate through stories

Why not think that what we communicate is like a story ? What is communicated is like a story, the facts lived by one’s own experience represent a version and what the other understands is another version of the same story based on its characteristics. The other listens, but understands and interprets on the basis of his peculiarities.

Surely you will have realized that, sometimes, when we have told something to someone and this person has communicated it to a third party, he has not conveyed exactly what we have said. Each person points out the important aspects based on their experiences. For this reason, each person is responsible for communicating their story.

When we say that the other is not right, what we are actually expressing is that he does not think like us, or does he? Think about it …