The Rule Of Three “S “: Banish Thoughts, Smile, Feel
The three “S” rule contains a simple but valuable lesson. In life you have to learn to let go in order to release your potential. You have to smile in order to get in touch with yourself and generate optimism and confidence. You have to feel the moment and show yourself receptive to everything that is to come.
We all have a duty to seek freedom. However, and we know this well, sometimes freedom requires a certain amount of courage that we are not always ready for. As children they teach us to cross the road when the traffic light is green, to derive the lowest common multiple of two or more natural numbers, to distinguish eukaryotic cells from prokaryotic ones and a thousand other information that in the long run do not have great repercussions on our happiness. and personal growth.
According to psychologist James O. Prochaska, famous above all for having elaborated the Prochaska and Di Clemente model of change, people should know immediately two fundamental pillars for personal growth: perseverance and the healthy process of change.
Perseverance is the ability to commit to achieving a goal. It means bringing together resources, motivation, time and energy for a goal, a dream, a person. Sometimes this commitment stops making sense when there is no benefit, when we feed it with false illusions and not with reality. It is at that moment that we must apply the rule of the three “Ss”. Let’s see what it consists of.
The three “S” rule for personal growth
On several occasions we have argued that the education we receive generally does not prepare us for change. For example, no one has taught us what to do when anger, disappointment or frustration make its way into us. This emotional puzzle, messy and impossible to solve, is pushed aside as if nothing had happened.
The Hawaiian people of the nineteenth century ignored this reality: they were convinced that the mind, body and soul were related, so those who accumulated negative emotions and fought inner battles in solitude eventually fell ill. To prevent this malaise from causing an infinity of physical and psychological disturbances, the Hawaiians devised a wonderful practice which was then described by David Kaonohiokala Bray, a priest who introduced the traditions of this people to the world.
This is the black bag and the three “S” rule.
The black bag and the need to let go
When a member of the Hawaiian community was having a hard time, the group would get together and organize the black sack ceremony. The person in question had to list aloud anything that hurt, worried or feared. Each thought was represented with a stone which was then placed in a sack.
The sack was then buried in a secret place. Only when the community member had completed the three “S” rule did the black sack proceed to unearth and destroy. The first step was learning to let go.
This fundamental practice for personal growth required adequate “emotional cleansing”. Just as you wash your clothes, house or kitchen utensils, so you have to cleanse your emotions and let go of those that cause pressure. Those that “dirty” us inside.
Smile sincerely
The next step is to smile. While putting a smile on your face isn’t always easy when you’ve let go of something, you have to try. The reason is clear: when someone gets rid of negative emotions because they are useless and do not bring any benefit, they often experience a feeling of emptiness.
It’s like being suspended in the air. We are aware that we have left behind an important baggage, many stones along the way and in front of us there is a clean slate. To prevent this emptiness from frightening us, we must smile. We must embrace everything that will come with optimism.
Feel the pleasure of freedom
The last rule is full of hope, it invites you to feel freedom. Stop and think: when was the last time you really felt free? A similar sensation arises when we do not feel weights inside us, when there are no black bags occupying our thoughts and invading our body stealing our health.
Feeling means embracing the present, it means having confidence in yourself, listening to yourself and attuning to the surrounding environment. To feel is to live without fear and that is what we should work on day after day, just like the ancient Hawaiian people did. Because only when a person reached this last step, that of feeling emotionally free, did the group come together again to destroy that black sack that collected worries, fears, anger, fears.
Reflect on this, you too apply the rule of the three “S” in your daily life.
