If You Want To Change Things, Don’t Always Behave The Same Way

To write this article I found inspiration in a person close to me who always complains, but who refuses to change.

It is normal to complain when something fails, but when it always comes to the same reason, maybe we are wrong ourselves. If something doesn’t work and we keep reacting the same way over and over again, the problem will continue without resolving itself. If we want changes in our life, we must also change our actions.

I want to tell you the case of this person anonymously. She had a group of friends with whom she went out very often, but some things didn’t suit her, such as always arriving late, not being very responsible and often organizing something and canceling it at the last minute, running out of time to to be able to make new projects.

Many times this person told me about it and always complained about the same things. I then asked her “Have you thought about meeting new people and changing friendships?”. It bothered her a bit that I asked her this question because she claimed that they were good people and that she had known them for many years, so I said “You’re right, but no matter how good they are, you are always different from their way of acting, because they are latecomers of nature and when they cancel an appointment they do not let you know with due notice to be able to organize you in a different way “.

The person became thoughtful because on the one hand she liked the idea of ​​meeting new people, but on the other hand she clung to what she already knew. Having to start over is tiring in any area, be it work, sentimental or friendship, but if something does not convince us it is worth exploring new paths. The girl was constantly telling me the same thing “Today we had to go to visit a city all day, I left home with my backpack ready and while I was on the street they called me to tell me that something unexpected had arisen and that they could not come” .

Again I asked her if she was willing to keep giving the same people another chance, and I asked her “How many times will you continue to be disappointed about the same things?”. But she continued to defend her friends, she said that they had good reasons not to go and to arrive late, but as far as they could tell her, however unexpected events might arise, a person with integrity would warn her with due notice so as not to cause annoyance.

Within two years she finally realized that these friends were very different from her and that she deserved people who would offer her what she gave them: integrity, responsibility and promises. She now has new friends, although before meeting the right ones she changed many bands that she didn’t like. However, to find what we are looking for we have to go through this process, and she herself sometimes tells me “I don’t know how I didn’t realize our differences sooner. I used to spend weekends complaining and being frustrated by other people’s actions, when now I have found different people ”.

She has always hoped that her friends would change, and very often what is wrong is not on the outside, but it is we ourselves who do not take responsibility. Things don’t change by themselves. We can’t blame others for being the way they are, but what we can do instead is choose. There are endless opportunities in life; if you are in a place that does not convince you, set out to change direction.

There are so many people who are trapped in jobs they don’t love, in friendships that don’t bring anything positive, in marriages where love is gone, making every day an ordeal. Starting again is a difficult job that requires a lot of consistency, but trying is priceless. Remember that if you don’t take the initiative to change things, nothing will change by itself. Destiny is not written, but it is shaped by our actions. There is a world of possibilities out there, so enjoy it and don’t conform to what doesn’t make you happy.