Is It Possible To Change Your Personality?

Changing one’s personality is a desire that each of us has expressed at least once. A desire inspired by several reasons, but mainly due to one or more characteristics of our way of relating to the world that we do not like.

Before talking about changes, it is necessary to point out the condition that makes them possible: the personality does not have an immutable structure. And a false myth must also be dispelled: it does not become immutable with age. Instead, it happens that with advancing age the patterns associated with a specific personal characteristic are more, and for this reason the resistance to change is stronger. Personality must therefore be understood as something dynamic and changing, whether it is due to an intentional process or a series of circumstances.

During childhood and adolescence it is much easier to change one’s personality , because it is not yet fully defined. This means that any influence is potentially able to act on our way of being.

What do we mean by personality?

The personality, or personality structure, is the set of psychological processes that define all or a large part of the sentimental and cognitive universe. This structure configures behaviors and the habitual way of relating to ourselves and to others.

Other aspects of the concept of personality have to do with the representation that the individual has of himself and with the way in which he presents himself to others. According to this perspective, the personality becomes the “mask” that we exhibit to others according to a strategy of concealing some of our internal characteristics in order to improve our acceptance on a social level.

The epistemological origin of the concept of “person”, in fact, dates back to ancient Greece and meant mask. In those days, theaters were the meeting places where masks were worn to represent the different protagonists by the same actor.

Changing your personality can become a necessity

As mentioned at the beginning of the article, the years can make it more difficult to change your personality. Nonetheless, changes in old age are by no means precluded, despite those who are convinced to the contrary.

Phrases such as “I am like that” or “at this age I can’t change anymore” are common. Concepts which may be partially correct in some cases, but which most of the time do not correspond to the truth.

Personality changes are even a therapeutic necessity for people with a personality disorder. We are talking about people who have developed a series of patterns of action and psychological mechanisms that cause deep suffering to them and those around them.

This generally leads to suffering distress, anxiety, aggression, loss of self-control, dissatisfaction, etc. Interpersonal relationships are also affected by these disorders which, moreover, are often accompanied by difficulties of adaptation and social integration, with consequent isolation.

Changing your personality is possible, although not easy

A change of personality is not easy. Disassembling and replacing those established principles of behavior with more adequate ones is a process that requires a large amount of resources such as motivation or time.

On the other hand, it usually happens that a mental pattern is established thanks to the repetition of a certain behavior, adopted to solve similar situations. For example, there are people whose conduct is due to the repetition of behaviors such as running away or avoiding certain situations.

If these people know they have to deal with a situation in which they are not comfortable, and are unable a priori to “avoid” it, they react by avoiding it or running away. Right or wrong, this is behavior that, in the short or long term, will backfire.

This is because, by avoiding or fleeing from “dangerous” situations, people are able, yes, to avoid suffering immediately, but not later, as they will always feel unable to lead a normal life.

Abandoning ancient psychological mechanisms to change personalities

A change in personality can mean abandoning these pathological mechanisms, progressively replacing them with more adequate ones. Taking the example of people who flee from certain situations, a change of mentality would consist in dealing with those uncomfortable situations in an intentional way. Only in this way will they be able to understand how to overcome them and increase their self-confidence, learning to test themselves and implementing personal growth.

Personality changes are also easier to achieve when the person focuses their attention on concrete goals. That’s why being able to determine how and when change will actually manifest is of great help. To help yourself in this, you can resort to the help of a psychologist to find techniques and psychological tools useful for achieving the objectives set.