If You Don’t Love Each Other, Nobody Will Do It For You

Loving each other is the starting point of emotional well-being,  but also what allows us to feel good with others and that they feel the same in our company. It is impossible to truly love someone if you have not first gone through an acceptance process and abandoned the habit of dissociating from our lives the things we don’t like. Think that if you don’t love each other, no one will do it for you.

A person with healthy self-esteem knows that others and themselves are far more than their faults.  Furthermore, he is aware that we are constantly changing and that many labels cannot be accompanied by the verb to be, because we act in many ways and in different times and contexts. We can, for example, say that someone has acted in a negative or bad way, but we cannot come to the conclusion that that person is bad.

If we use this system to label others, it is likely that we will also use it to label ourselves.  Therefore, we will be very hard on ourselves when we do not act the way we would like to. Severity that will cause us a state of sadness. When this happens to you, think that if you don’t love each other, no one will do it for you.

The problem arises when we try to cover up lack of self-love with the love of others.  When due to self-criticism we are not able to see the good in us and we react only when others point it out to us. Thus, the problem is aggravated when we are happy or not with a result depending on the recognition we get from others; a recognition that will hardly come, because if we don’t love each other, no one will do it for us.

Lack of self-love and relationships

Why will lack of self-love prevent others from loving us? That’s a good question. Well, the answer is not that complex. When a person does not love himself  or when he values ​​himself in a positive way only when he acts correctly, without making mistakes, he  tends to dedicate the same treatment to other people as well.

Therefore, if this is our case and we choose a partner who fills that need for love that we feel and which we do not know how to satisfy with our esteem, addiction makes room. Addiction is a hold on to something or someone because “I believe that person will make me happy”,  “complete my life”, “it is essential for my well-being”, etc.

Addiction, or emotional attachment, leads people to behave towards their partner in an extreme way. They believe that they need it and that it is little for him / her, they put in place a series of extreme behaviors that in the end make them lose it. Just what they didn’t want. Think that if you do not love each other, it is difficult for someone to fill that void, which does not correspond to them.  

How to start loving each other? 

The secret to achieving this is unconditional acceptance. It sounds easy, but it’s not. Accepting oneself unconditionally implies loving one’s being independently of any external factor. Work, success, relationships, beauty or money are external elements. 

To increase love for ourselves, it is good to think, in a realistic way, that perfection is a concept invented by man, because it does not exist  and will never exist. We are not perfect, we have defects, and many, but also strengths.

Furthermore, it is difficult for all of our vital areas to always be complete. Sometimes we will have a partner, but we will miss the job; others will have health, but not money. Make sure that what you lack does not obscure the joy brought by what you have.

It is impossible to measure the human being. People are simply beings, each with its own abilities, abilities or qualities, but none superior or inferior to another. We are good for one thing or another, and have enough arguments to love each other. The possibility of always doing better is in our hands.

If you are capable of it, if you love each other despite your mistakes and defeats, you will not need the love of others. You will choose him, freely, because you want to be with that person, because life by his side is better. If you love each other, you will be grateful for the love of others, but you won’t need it.

You will not choose your partner based on a need that you should provide for yourself.  In turn, this will make the person you choose feel comfortable with you and the relationship will turn into even greater well-being.