Strengthen Self-esteem With Positive Language
“ I don’t know what to do with you, you always get it all wrong! “
Such a sentence can hurt as much as a slap in the face. Perhaps many people do not realize the effect that language can have on people, especially children. Childhood is a time in a person’s evolution in which the foundations of personality, self-esteem and self- perception are built . The language used by our parents shapes us in one way or another: it can give us confidence or, conversely, undermine self-esteem, and even fuel our anger.
Of course, no one comes into the world with an instruction manual on how to behave, a guide to show us how to be better people, and, even more difficult, better parents. We can strive to give our children the best, enroll them in a good school, get them to attend extracurricular activities to improve their education. However, there will always be some detail that escapes us. Words. Gestures. Expressions.
The positive language is as fundamental as a caress or a glass of milk.
I always get it all wrong
What might we answer to a child who always repeats these words when trying to do something? It is important to be careful with these types of expressions, especially when it is the youngest ones who pronounce them. Our job as parents, professors or adult role models is, and always will be, to foster self-confidence. Their ability to feel safe. A correct answer may be: ” Try it again, for sure now you will succeed “. A very simple sentence, but one that will give the child a sense of tranquility and trust, an input to motivate himself and try again.
If the child believes he is not capable and no one supports him, he will likely stop trying all the activities he has to do, not only because he will doubt his abilities, but also because he will feel uncomfortable. Why should I try if I’m just getting frustrated? Eventually, to avoid that negative feeling, the child will end up bypassing any task and purpose.
Educate in a positive way
” You are better every day “, “For sure you will succeed “, ” I really like what you did “. Expressions like this give the child confidence. They are clear and simple to understand sentences. We must remember that children, up to at least 6 years of age, do not understand irony, double entenders or puns. In the common language of an adult this type of language strategy is very common and, at times, we can use them without realizing that younger children will not understand them.
An example is the typical phrase “ Keep doing this and you’ll see… “. The most likely thing is that the child will continue to do what he is doing, because he has not received a clear order such as: ” Stop playing and start doing your homework, otherwise you will get a bad grade tomorrow “.
Communication with our children must not only be positive, therefore, but also as clear as possible, without ambiguity or irony. We must fill them with positivity and sentences full of hope, which nourish their psychological and personal growth, increasing their self-esteem.
In our daily life, we often don’t care about the way we express ourselves. But very often we end up saying much more than what we wanted to express.
Even our gestures speak louder than words. When we educate, it is essential to take into account everything we transmit to the child. We can complain about his behavior, scold him and even punish him. But punishment and criticism will do no good if we don’t give them a chance to improve. “ You won’t touch the computer for a week, because you don’t do what you are supposed to do, you never finish your homework, and it’s not good to play with it for so many hours. When you show me that you have improved in school and that you can also use it for useful things, I will let you use it again. I know you can do it! “.
Positive language is essential in our daily life, in our relationships and to educate the little ones. And you, do you usually practice it?
