Do Not Love Blindfolded By Unreality

When it comes to talking about emotions, the most sensible thing is not to look for explanations,  because we already know that we cannot totally control them in their essence. The only thing we can do is feel them, try to understand them and shape them, so that those who harm us cannot. Don’t try to explain what’s going on inside of you, just understand it.

In this sense, you know that feeling of all or nothing better than anyone else: you want it or you don’t want it, there are no middle terms. That is to say, any kind of love requires us to dedicate ourselves totally to the other person, so sometimes we forget that we must also dedicate ourselves to ourselves: remember not to forget about ourselves while you love another person.

When you forget about yourself, it happens that you begin to love in a toxic way and, often, this causes you to love even blindfolded. What happens is that you don’t see reality, but an image of what might be real: having a relationship where this occurs implies not having a real relationship.

Nothing justifies that love

If you find yourself in a situation like the one just described with a family member, a friend, your partner and you continue to support it, it is probably because you realize that the reality is too harsh. If it surpasses you, it is possible that you have preferred – even unknowingly – to live in parallel realities that make you suffer less.

However, these conditions are not healthy at all. Remember that you are not cowards because you are afraid, but you must be brave and name your “monsters”:  nothing justifies that love if there is no happiness. You have to convince yourself that you cannot blame yourself, that you cannot be manipulated, victimized or attacked on your self-esteem.

Equally important is that you know that it is not permissible to put an end to your spaces and your independence, because this only causes one lie after another,  distrust, disillusionment and many other useless attitudes that, perhaps, the other person does not deserve, but neither do you.

You are as you are, and you can be yourself with those who love you

First of all, your emotions signal to you how you are at a particular moment, but they must agree with who you really are. You certainly don’t want to be sad, sick people; surely you don’t want to be apparently happy people, you don’t want to be pretend happy. You really want to be, fulfill yourself and share it with others.