4 Tips For Not Raising A Tyrant At Home

Although we find it hard to believe, meeting tyrannical children is more and more frequent, and parents who ask for professional help, desperate for the behavior of their children, are constantly increasing. When we speak of child tyrants, we are referring to those children who impose their law, who dominate their parents with their whims and whose dramas would exhaust anyone.

The tyrant child believes he has the right to manipulate his family according to his wishes and to show intense anger if his expectations are not fulfilled. He is unable to tolerate everyday frustrations, much less putting himself in his parents’ shoes. For this reason, he hurts them with the sole aim of forcing them to bow to his desires.

This phenomenon makes the child the true authority figure in the home, and parents feel compelled to succumb to his demands to avoid the fits of anger that occur when his whims and needs are not satisfied. In the most extreme cases, the child may even physically assault his parents.

According to several studies, genetics could affect up to a certain point and predispose the child to more aggression than his peers. It has also been shown that the tyrant child is more typical of middle- or upper-class families, and that this personality is more common among boys than girls, although this gender difference is gradually disappearing.

Furthermore, it would seem that education is one of the fundamental factors that trigger the child’s tyrannical behavior towards parents. In particular, it has been found that the most permissive and overprotective parents are more likely to raise a child with a behavioral profile similar to that described.

Educational factors that form a tyrant

If education has such a major influence on the child’s future behavior, parents need to learn the best way to educate their children. It is important to avoid certain behaviors, often carried out with the best intentions, but which can be counterproductive in the medium or long term.

1. Allowing the child anything

If the child is granted everything, he will slowly begin to believe that he has the right to receive everything he wants, immediately, whatever it is.

For this reason, if he grows up with this idea, when one day someone denies him what he asked for , the tyrant child will feel such anger that he will do anything to see his expectations met. He does this because he is used to this and believes that this is how it works. Through anger, the child will end up controlling the will and authority of the parents, who will feel put on a leash.

2. Do not allow the child to feel frustrated

Frustration is a healthy and normal emotion, it is part of life. Things don’t always go the way we wanted, sometimes life turns its back on us and we have to learn to tolerate it.

Not being able to tolerate frustration leads to various emotional problems, both in children and adults. Like it or not, life is not tailor-made for us, and we will often find obstacles in our path.

If we do not teach children to accept frustration and try in every way that they get what they want or make their life easier in the face of any problem, we will create a tyrant child, a child unable to accept the idea that the world does not revolve around. to him.

3. Solve all the problems of the child

It is very important that children, from an early age, start solving their problems by themselves or with a little help from us. When we talk about “problems”, of course, we refer to the small obstacles acceptable to their age.

For example, if the child asks us to tie his shoes when he is old enough to do it himself and, moreover, we know he is capable, we should not give in to the temptation to help him or do it ourselves. Maybe tying your shoes is a tedious task and the child would prefer parents to do it, but that’s not how it works.

The child needs to know that life is not always easy and comfortable, and he has to learn to fend for himself.

Otherwise, every time he finds an obstacle in life, he will not implement the necessary strategies to solve it, because we will not even have given him the opportunity to develop them.

4. Teach him that problems are solved with hostility

We cannot expect our child not to react in a hostile way if we are the first to get angry, scream or speak aggressively in the face of any adversity.

We need to be aware that children imitate everything about adults, especially those who care for them, so we need to be careful how we behave in front of them.

Even if we are tired, if we feel we are about to burst and can’t take it anymore, we can actually do it. Aggression won’t help us solve a damn thing. Therefore, act calmly in the face of problems, do it for yourself and for your children.